Jeff Witteck is the Staten Island prince best known for Bad Girls Club and David Dobrik’s vlogs, and of course his very own podcast. I have discovered recently that not only is the year 2020 dubbed 20SCHMONEY but it’s shoot your shot time (or at least it is for me). So please lay your eyes and hearts upon 15 reasons why I think Jeff Witteck and I should get married.
10. No hair worries
I do my own hair so he wouldn’t have to worry about it! Although I would let him cut and colour my hair I would like to note he wouldn’t HAVE to. I’m a strong independent woman who destroys her own hair on her own.
9. Taking on the stepmom role
We would make the perfect parent combo for Nerf. I know my place as Nerf’s stepmom and respect Jeff’s parenting skills
8. Vlog squad virgin
Despite unsuccessfully sliding into Zane’s DMs, I have never dated any of Jeff’s friends. And I’m about 99 percent sure he has never dated anyone from my friend group.
9. Merch swap
Jeff could wear Heavy Meta merch while I rock some of his merch. Fit of the day? SUPPORT COUTURE.
8. Aesthetically pleasing
He is very attractive, I am…mostly attractive.
7. Hiking together
I love exploring nature and taking fire Instagram pictures so we could hike together.
6. Travel potential
I work remotely so we could travel and not have to worry about booking time off.
Although my family is super small they are super important to me
We’re both single and unmarried right now.
People get married when they’re bored right?
How does free healthcare sound? I’m Canadian and we uhhh, we have that.
1. I want to
I want to, that’s it. That’s the reason.